Signs of Abuse

Jealousy, Emotional abuse and Victim blaming, Isolation, Coercion, Physical and Sexual abuse, and Stalking, are major signs of domestic abuse and violence (

According to the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, perpetrators of domestic violence use: “coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, they minimize, deny and blame, use their children against the other parent, gender privilege, and economic abuse, against the victim ( Those who perform the abuse always look to make the victim feel bad about different things that could physically, mentally, and emotionally harm them. They seem to disregard the feelings of the other person and just try to manipulate and take advantage of the weak person.

Batterers even may go through something called the Cycle of Violence. This cycle includes the tension phase which is when the abuser is argumentative and angry, and the victim is scared and afraid and seems to walk on eggshells. The next phase is the violence phase, which includes actual violent episodes. Last is the honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase is when the abuser seems to regress and try to make things right, they try to bring the romance back into the relationship; the victim is hopeful things will change, and they just seem to go through the cycle continuously. ( ).

How Do You Know if You Are Being Abused?

Abusers use many ways to isolate, intimidate and control their partners. It starts insidiously and may be difficult to recognize. Early on, your partner may seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be frightening and controlling. Initially the abuse is isolated incidents for which your partner expresses remorse and promises never to do again or rationalizes as being due to stress or caused by something you did or didn’t do (

Questions to Ask Yourself (

• Are you ever afraid of your partner?

• Do you constantly worry about your partner's moods and change your behavior to deal with them?

• Does your partner try to control where you go, what you do and who you see?

• Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs?
• Have you stopped seeing family or friends to avoid your partner's jealousy or anger?
• Does your partner control your finances?

Some of the questions asked, are some that commonly go ignored, and not thought of as abuse; but if you can answer yes to any of the questions, you are experiencing abuse.

Signs From An Abusive Partner
Jealously: You can’t go no where and speak to no one
: His way or the highway

Verbal Abuse
: Name calling, use of foul language

: When I say jump you ask how high
: Every little thing makes him mad

Signs of An Abused Victim
Isolation: Can’t go around friends and family
Finances:  Have no access to any banking accounts, credit cards, any type of money
: Very depresses, low self-esteem

: Wears make-up, lots of clothing to cover up bruises

Signs Victim Wants Out
*Thoughts of leaving but to afraid
*Thoughts of killing your partner

*Thoughts of suicide

*Want to call the police but to afraid they might not help or he will get out and come after her

The Reasons Victims Stay

*The women is afraid
*Feels like there is no other alternative
*Feels she is getting what she deserves